Neuro-Affirming Practices

A few years ago, I started to shift the way I thought about support—both as an educator and as a parent of neurodivergent children. What if, instead of trying to “fix” what made our children different, we focused on understanding who they are and how they experience the world?

That’s the foundation of neurodiversity-affirming practice.

What Is Neurodiversity?

Neurodiversity is the idea that neurological differences are natural variations of the human experience. Coined by sociologist Judy Singer in the 1990s, the neurodiversity paradigm recognizes that people process, think, communicate, and experience the world in different ways—and that this diversity should be acknowledged, respected, and supported.

Under this umbrella, we often talk about two broad groups:

• Neurotypical individuals—those whose brain development and functioning align with what's considered "typical" for their culture.

• Neurodivergent individuals—those whose brain functioning diverges from typical patterns. This includes people with Autism, ADHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, Tourette's, and other neurological differences.

  
  

Moving from “Fixing” to Supporting

For too long, traditional approaches to therapy and education have centered on helping neurodivergent people fit in—by reducing behaviors like stimming, encouraging eye contact, or teaching communication in ways that feel unnatural. These approaches, although often well-intentioned, can lead to harm. Research has shown that masking neurodivergent traits can contribute to anxiety, depression, and a loss of self-worth.

A neurodiversity-affirming approach flips that script.

Instead of trying to make neurodivergent individuals appear neurotypical, this approach seeks to understand, validate, and support their unique ways of being. It emphasizes strengths, autonomy, and the idea that the environment—not the individual—is often what needs to change.

What Does Neurodiversity-Affirming Support Look Like?

Whether in therapy, at school, or at home, neuro-affirming support centers on empowerment and understanding. Some key principles include:

• Listening to the child’s voice and adapting the environment to meet their needs.

• Respecting communication differences, including nonverbal or AAC use.

• Honoring sensory needs by providing options for movement, breaks, or sensory tools.

• Recognizing self-regulation strategies, including stimming, as healthy and helpful.

• Validating emotions and helping children identify their triggers and calming strategies.

• Building self-advocacy and problem-solving skills.

• Allowing processing time and creating safe spaces.

• Using affirming language that honors identity without focusing on deficits.

Just as importantly, neurodiversity-affirming therapy does not involve:

• Forcing neurotypical behaviors.

• Eliminating stimming or other self-soothing tools.

• Setting goals that aim to change someone’s fundamental way of being.

  
  

Why This Matters for Families

If you're a parent or caregiver of a neurodivergent child, you’ve likely been offered many opinions about what your child should be doing—or who they should become. But here’s the truth: your child is not broken. They don’t need fixing. What they need is support that respects their experience and uplifts their voice.

As both a parent and a former educator, I’m here to help families understand what neurodiversity-affirming care looks like and how it can transform not just services, but relationships. It’s not about lowering expectations—it’s about shifting them to reflect what truly matters: autonomy, joy, connection, and belonging.

If you’re navigating services or therapy decisions and wondering what’s right for your family, you’re not alone. I’m here to help guide you through it, ask the right questions, and advocate for what your child really needs.